musings and reflections of hollyholz

Mister Rogers

Speaking of my childhood memories, I was saddened to see this headline on "Today on MSN section" at MSN.com :(

TV's 'Mister Rogers' dies

It was the purpose of the show, Mr. Rogers' Neighbourhood, and the man himself, that made a lasting impression... and the simplicity of it all. I remember I was sad when I heard his show ended.

Goodbye Mister Rogers....

posted by Holz @ 1:43 PM |

Ahhhh, Childhood Memories

A Christmas gift from Richard reminded me of a blog that I've neglected to write about for weeks. You see, I decided to write a list of things to blog about during a boring finance class... yet I haven't gotten to blog any of the ideas. Nevertheless, Richard's gift and tonight's rendezvous w/ Christine, the friend I've known for the longest time since my days in HK (that tells you how long I've known her, considering the fact I came to Canada at the age of four), urged me to blog about... friendship from childhood.

For the past while, I thought I didn't have much friends from my elementary school days. Having transferred schools many times, I lost touch w/ those I met since kindergarden. Whenever I visit my grandparents (whom live in my old neighbourhood), I often wonder if I'd get a chance to bump into friends from my old school... but alas, that dream never came true.

I met up w/ Haley, a long time friend I had grown up with, during the first week after the Christmas break... since Hals was a few years my senior, we never really hung out when we were kids, but during my high school years, we started to talk more. We sat at a Second Cup for barely half an hour (during her coffee break from work), yet we reminisce on our past and brought smiles to our face. (It was from her that I learned why I was constantly made fun of during the Scarberia days where she, her sister, her cousins - including Richard, and I grew up together... to keep this blog fairly short *ahem*, I'll skip the story) It was then that I realize I did have several friends from my childhood days :D

As I mentioned, it was Richard's gift that reminded me about this whole friendship thing from the past. You see, he finally gave me the belated Christmas gift he had been talking about for a while... so when I got home, I anxiously opened the gift and to my surprise, I found a t-shirt with this comic strip character from a Chinese comic strip, "Lo Foo Chee". In fact, it was the shortest, oldest, and chubbiest one of the three characters. My first thought was "Does Rich think I'm like this guy in terms of height and appearance?" :) It was totally out of the blue, seeing how no one knows of this comic strip besides for the HKers...

So over an ICQ chat during the weekend, I thanked him and out of curiousity, I asked him why he got me that gift in particular... turns out the gift was very meaningful. Apparently Richard also read the comic strip when he was a kid, and when he saw the t-shirt, it made him think of the Scarberia days when Hals, him, their siblings, and I grew up together. Just reading the msg brought a big smile to a face... :) Although I was constantly made fun of, over the years we've talked more... (I remember goin' to him about my problems with my biggest crush ever in gr. 10... :) ) So Rich, thanks for the t-shirt and all the memories that came along with it... I don't like the t-shirt, I love it :)

Last but not least, tonight's second cup chat w/ Christine was just amazingly relaxing and fun :) Christine has the honour of being the friend I've known the longest for... in fact, we flew together to Canada on the same flight playing w/ my kitchen set! We never talked a whole lot during our childhood... never really hung out all that much... but for the past few years, we've spent more time talking and hanging out. It was just nice to really bond over the years. Christine doesn't know about this, but I had to do an assignment in grade 7 about my life, and one of the sections I had to write about was the person whom was dearest to me. Surprisingly (considering the time I wrote it), I talked about Christine, and how I really valued our friendship despite the fact we never talked. I guess at that time, I valued 'cause of the length of time we've known each other. However, today, it's not only the length of our friendship that counts, but the interaction and laughter that comes out of it...

Even though I don't talk to Hals, Richard, and Christine frequently, when we do, it's really awesome how so much can come out of a conversation. These few friends are those that I've grown up with, and have stuck with despite the many changes each of us has gone through. :) Thanks for the memories, guys.

posted by Holz @ 12:42 AM |

Question of the Moment...

Speaking of Andrew... that reminds me, I am hoping to write an article for The Mike before the school year ends. I've promised Andrew on several occassions that I'd write an article but never got to it. Heh.

However, this one topic is one which I'm really hoping to kinda investigate in depth. A conversation between Lyds and I, as well as between Carol and I sparked this up...

Is blogging a fad or not?

I often wonder why people blog... is it a source of procrastination or something?

I wanna get a consensus on ppl's thoughts on blogging, that's all... perhaps it'll get the writers block out of my way too :)

Please give me your feedback by commenting :) Thanks... :D

posted by Holz @ 4:41 PM |

AHHHHHHH i wanna kill Andrew.
(yes, again)
(and yes, Margaret, you can sue me for libel too for this sentence and attempt to hunt me down and kill me :P)

I'm waiting for him to do an assignment, and decided to blog on this stupid iMac in The Mike (the newspaper Andrew edits for) office; but stupid netscape isn't compatible with the blogger post template, so here I am blogging in size 4 font, killing my eyes literally. I was writing a long blog and Andrew suggests to me to increase the font size.... and I did, and the stupid netscape window refreshed and deleted my blog.

@#($*&(*!!!!! stupid Andrew. Actually, stupid iMac and stupid Netscape. &@*#&!!

posted by Holz @ 4:27 PM |

All Nighter? Nah...

... but certainly after drinking almost 5-6 cups of my grandma's tea, I don't think I will be sleeping anytime soon. I thought I'd stay up until 1:15am and study a bit before watching some TV then going to sleep, but I think after the TV show's over, I'm gonna be reading more of my textbook :) Mind you, I've never went through an all nighter before; the latest I've ever slept was at 4am, trying to finish off a year end assignment for a first year seminar course I took on statistics.

Despite all the caffeine in my system, I still can't really think of anything of substance to write about... as much as I try not to blog about my day, I think I may do so :) Besides, tonight was a good night, one which is worth blogging about... at least for my own purposes, so that when I come back and read this entry a year from now, I'll remember the good time I had catching up w/ Karen tonight.

Karen came and picked me up for dinner ronight at commerce... we had some goooood food :) Since my mom's been going on some healthy streak, I haven't really had much sushi in a while... not since the crazy sushi & praise nite Josiah had last month. But it's never the food that makes a get together with a friend memorable, with the exception of tonight's dessert Karen and I shared... (OMG - green tea ice cream in a light tempura batter with chocolate sauce and sugary frosting... yummmmmy!) It's always about the conversations.

I guess it wasn't what we talked about that made me smile tonight... but it was the thought of being great friends despite our ups and downs over the years. I remember one thing we talked about few years ago, when she told me she wasn't the type of friend that would want to "catch up" once a month, but more like a few times a week. Although we went to the same school, since I fasttracked, we had many different classes and barely any lunches or spares together... that's why we didn't really see each other.

So off I went to University and we kinda went off our separate ways, in terms of school... but to my surprise, we still kept in touch. In fact, I thought we were better friends than we were before at Thornlea (high school)! :) It's just awesome that we're still great friends after three years of not being together in the same school. Although we don't talk every week, we still manage to have good and fun times when we meet up, like tonight... :D.

Anyway... back to my TV show. :) Besides, my grandpa doesn't have unlimted internet access :) *wink* ahh, the good old days of dial up.

posted by Holz @ 1:57 AM |

Friendship over the campfire platter and a dose of good hockey :)

After learning some good news, I had the mood to go out on Tuesday night. At the same time, Pris and I have been having problems meeting up at a good time, and to our surprise, we managed to find a good time :) I was craving for some hockey & pub food combined, and she was just around at the right time so we headed out to Montanas. (Apparently, as I have been told, I got her interested in the game...) But a really good discussion came out of it as well, despite the constant interruptions from the hockey game.

You see, we were just talking about her get together with an old friend of hers and how they spent the day... and all was swell except for a few moments of awkward silence. We both concluded what really makes a good friend - the moment of silence and how each person was comfortable w/ it. I don't remember where I've read this before, but I recall reading that despite the silent gaps during a conversation w/ a person, what differentiates a good friend from an ordinary one is the comfortability you are with the silence. With my personal experiences, I find that quote quite true, at least with my part. Pris and I are both very loud and chatty, but there are moments where we'd just sit back with nothing much to say, yet we aren't worried about filling the gaps of silence or whatever.

I've been struggling with this whole situation of what really makes a person a good friend. However, some conclusions have been made, some not. Nevertheless, the journey still continues with my search for answers :) I suppose it is a lifelong journey.

posted by Holz @ 12:44 AM |

It's Tuesday night, and you know that it's American Idol night!

I'm no fan... :D but this comic strip really cracks me up, and I must share it with you. I thought I'd post it tonight in honour of American Idol Night :) hahaha....



courtesy of ucomics.com

posted by Holz @ 8:01 PM |

"Wow, she really looks like...

.. Mei Wah!" Yes, that's the first thing I heard when stepping into the kitchen of some person's house... you see, over the weekend, I tagged along with my mom and went to her high school class reunion at this guy's house. The last time I attended anything of this sort was three years ago, at their 25th reunion; however, considering that I wanted to spend more time w/ my mom, I decided to go.

I was surprised at that comment about looking lke my mother, 'cause for all my life, I've been told I look like my father. I think it's the nose... but after analysing a recent family portrait (taken at Loblaws for only $5.77!!!), I am starting to look more like my mother, and I'm glad it's not because of my nose or any other weird looking feature, but simply because of her smile. :) You see, I've inherited most of my parents' bad features, like my dad's flat nose or my mom's poor vision and height. :D

The next comment I heard was "Wow, she looks like she's only in high school!" or "Wow, she looks younger than my daughter..."; I had to ask 'the daughter' how old she was... and it turned out she was only 15. Gaaaaaaah. I know looking young isn't necessarily a bad thing, but looking too young for your own good isn't great. I went to Longo's (nearby supermarket) once during the holidays, and the following conversation occured between me and the cashier:


Cashier (in the cutest, sweetest voice): So, how are you enjoying your school holidays?
Me: Somewhat... okay... *holz thinks to herself that this girl mistakens me as a kid*
Cashier: So what grade are you in?
Me: Ummm.... third...year in university.
Cashier: Oh, really?! *chuckles*
Me: So what grade are you in?
Cashier: Oh, I'm just going into university next year!!!


She must've thought I was a few years her junior. :P It didn't help that on Sunday during the seniors fellowship at church, the grannies were all saying how obedient and good I was (heh, if they only knew me... hehe), and when they were told that I was already in third year, they were like "oh, you look like a kid! I thought you were in high school!"... I guess another thing I inherited from my mom - the young look. :)

I don't know why, but recently it's been irking me that I look like a kid. Perhaps being in a biz program, with everyone looking rather professional and nothing like a kid, it gets to me. Or perhaps it's the maturity thing... I think I look like a kid 'cause I'm a kid at heart... hehe. I wonder why...? But then, I know decades later, I'll be grateful that I look young... hehe perhaps I'll experience the same thing Ian's mom once experienced when he went to elementary school; she picked him up, and the kids asked him if she was his older sister. :D

I'll be forever young at heart... (says the girl who didn't want to turn 20!)

posted by Holz @ 10:15 PM |

I miss...

... her.

Her, you ask? Yes.... her. My big big sis. Yesterday was Valentine's day and it reminded me of her. You see, she often surprises me on special occassions, like Valentines day. Up until a few years ago, she was the only one who got me a valentines' day gift. (In fact, I still have that stuff animal of hers on my shelf) She always remembered my birthday and even got me a graduation gift.

Well, this year's been quite a different year... she was happily married last October, and I (along with many people) was very happy for her. I knew she'd have to spend time w/ her new family and I would see her less. However, I didn't anticipate on practically not hearing from her at all.
I was surprised (albeit not completely, since I knew she was busy settling down) she forgot my birthday, and that I didn't receive a Christmas card... nor did I receive any calls or emails from her. I did try to contact her, but never really succeeded. Oh well.... :(

I guess yesterday just reminded me of her... I know things won't be the way as they used to, but change is inevitable and life must go on. Nevertheless, just wanted to remember the good old days... after all, being an only child, my "big big sis" did mean a lot to me. :)

posted by Holz @ 6:23 PM |

Oh, Grandpa!

My reading week started yesterday, as I have no classes on Thursdays or Fridays. :) So I spent most of my day at home yesterday cleaning... I also went swimming!!! :) (34 laps, although unlike my father, I took frequent breaks... hehe the best I could do non stop was 8 laps.) I decided to spend the day with my grandparents today instead of cleaning.

My grandma went for some ESL classes at the nearby community centre, so grandpa and I were left on our own... we did our traditional thing, and went to Tim Hortons for a good coffee (well, a coffee for me, at least!) and a good chat. On our way back, we dropped by Sobey's and went grocery shopping... and we both decided to get my grandma a plant, since she's been feeling rather stressed with some issues. :) My grandpa's really funny. He's a plant lover... so as we were leaving Sobey's, he was complaining how we had to protect the plant.

I thought he'd simply double bag the plant and leave the store... boy, was I ever wrong. Instead, he took off his scarf, and wrapped it around the plant (which was already wrapped w/ paper!), very delicately as if it was one of his grandchildren... I stood there in astonishment... and when one of the Sobey's employees came over to see what my grandpa was doing, she had this weird look on her face... (I'm pretty sure I probably had the same look). THEN he double bagged the plant...

... as we were walking home, he decided to cover the plant inside his jacket... and I asked if it was necessary. Instead, he was like "if you're so smart and knowledgeable about plants, why don't you go back and buy one, and leave it uncovered so it'd freeze to death!"

Haha, my grandpa and his witty remarks :) What a funny man!

posted by Holz @ 1:58 PM |

Done!!! :) Midterms are done.... the fact that they're done well or not isn't the issue (yet)!

I was gonna blog, but after an hour sitting in front of the computer, I'm still at a loss of words.

I'll return tomorrow :)

posted by Holz @ 10:50 PM |

It's that time of the term again.... MIDTERM season. :P
I've studied for the most of today, yesterday, and Saturday... I can't take it anymore! Yet, despite the amount of time put into it, I still feel as if I'm not prepped. I'll just do my best (mentally and emotionally.... 'cause I go nuts the night before a midterm) and leave the rest up to God.

Speaking of God... he works in wonderful ways. Not only do I have one midterm tomorrow, but 2! Auditing right after finance. For those of u in business, you must understand the pain. :) Anyway, that's not the main point... you see, originally today would've been the date my mom was supposed to go to the hospital for her surgery... but fortunately, she got an earlier spot a week and a bit ago. Good on both her part and mine! Otherwise, if the former happened, I don't think I would be able to handle studying for TWO midterms and having to stay with her in the hospital all at once. It's really true when God says He won't give you more than you can bear. :)

Okay, enough procrastination and slacking off... I gotta study... review my notes again for the umptieeth time. I hate case scenario exams as well as finance problem solving ones. :P (bottom line: I don't like midterms/exams...)

posted by Holz @ 10:01 PM |

So Here’s the Story…

… of Holz for the past month and a bit. I know for those who have been avid readers of my blog (yes, I know I have admiring fans… hahaha), you’ve noticed my ever-so-frequent mood swing for the past month. Well, what I’m about to tell you is a life changing story, so beware… : ) okay fine, it’s a life changing story on my part, so just sit back and read. I’m actually surprised that I started this blog on such a light note, but I guess this is what I’m feeling presently. Anyway, here goes…

~

I remember the start of my Christmas break vividly… I had just finished writing the possibly worst exam I had ever imagine, and right afterwards, I got one of my wisdom tooth yanked out. During the first week, I was stuck at home and stressed about Christmas shopping… and when I finally got to it, I came down with a fever as soon as I returned home from the trip to the mall. On Dec. 23rd, I went to Yorkdale and finally got my Christmas shopping done… wait. I forgot to write Christmas cards! I was upset at my mom that day ‘cause she made me write all HER Christmas cards before I could start mine, so I ended up starting them on the 24th…

… so I slacked off on the 24th and decided to start writing them at night, at around 10-ish… I figured it’s the meaning that counts, so I couldn’t care less whether they were given out late. I finished writing one, and was starting Tammy’s… then my mom came home from church. She said she wanted to spend time w/ me… so I eagerly went downstairs and watched TV while I waited for her. However, the news was not exactly what I anticipated.

Basically I find out my mom’s not feeling well – long term wise. To make a long story short and rather vague, her illness requires lots of help in the long run… even now as we speak. (I cannot go into full details…) A lot of questioning, tears, and confusion come up, hence the mood swings. If you go back to the journal entries right from the 25th to January 6th, you see my ever-fluctuating thoughts and moods.

However, a lot of good things come out of it too; from this, my family has become closer than ever, as a family and also to God. My aunt decided to visit my mom… all the way from the other side of the world, for which I was (and still am) very grateful. From this experience, I learned that although my situation at home may be more complicated and stressful, I’m not alone… in fact, I know of a family friend who has to take care of his aging father, his granddaughter, and also other matters related to work and church. I also learned another important thing – humans are fallible. No matter how well you plan things, ultimately you have no absolute control of things. Most importantly, it was just amazing to see how God works in our lives. Not just my mom’s, but mines and also others too.

I also learned how to cook. As an only child, I must admit I’ve been pretty spoiled, being able to get away with not doing all my chores and having my mom to pick up after my mess whenever I neglect it and do my schoolwork instead… however, times have changed and I have to learn how to take care of myself and of my family more… :) I guess it’s great that I’m learning how to do more house things… after all, my ambition is supposed to be “to become a housewife!” (Inside joke… from the career management course I took at school)

Through this situation, I learned to put things into perspective… as in what are the more important issues in life. Before knowing of my mom’s situation, the only things I worried about were school and career; however, there are other important things in life… friends, life itself, health, and family.

The journey’s not over yet, boys and girls. Lots more to come… but I know God will take care of things :) Just don’t be surprised to see a happy jolly Holly, and see a grouchy Holz the next minute… Nevertheless, that’s all I’ve really got to share for the time being :). So, if I seem to have ignored you or neglected to catch up w/ you for the past month, especially over the holidays, I apologize...

BTW, kudos to you for reading the entire blog… I wrote this on Microsoft Word first before posting it, and it’s about a page and a half…!

posted by Holz @ 1:14 AM |

I know I've disappeared for days... and technically, I have. :) But my next blog may possibly explain why. Just don't give up on me yet... I'll be back.

posted by Holz @ 11:17 PM |