musings and reflections of hollyholz: 09/01/2002

9.29.2002

..To Know and Follow Hard After You...

Give me one pure and holy passion
And give me on magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after You
To grow as Your disciple in the truth
This world is empty, pale and poor
Compared to knowing You, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after You

This song was sang during worship service this morning. Not a lot has happened this weekend, but lots of thinking have been done. The song simply reflects my state of mind.

It all started out with my dad giving me his two cents yesterday during breakfast. He simply told me to "live with faith, with a vision and a goal" (something like that).. which got me thinking. I realized how I have been struggling for the past year and a half, simply 'cause I lived life w/o fully depending on God. Not that I totally abandoned Him, but I wasn't as diligent or willing to come to Him... I simply lived 'cause I wanted to get through w/ school with no vision... just wanted to get it done.

Last night, just before I dosed off, I realized how hard life is w/o fully relying on God, due to my own experience of relying more on myself during my 2nd year of university. I'm grateful that God's been revealing to me different things despite me dangling on a string of faith; He has kept me closeby even as I was falling away...

Well, this morning, I went out for an early breakfast with a sister of mine at Timmy's. Over coffee and a bagel, we shared our thoughts and struggles. One recurring theme popped up: routine. Both of us realized the need for that... she shared how having a routine helps in maintaining that daily quiet time w/ God. I don't know what it was, but I felt that God was calling me to start fresh, and slowly come back to Him...

As important school, marks, and jobs are, I know I must change my priorities...

To know and follow hard after You
To grow as Your disciple in the truth
This world is empty, pale and poor
Compared to knowing You, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after You

Lead me on and I will run after You.

9.28.2002

Me Wanna Write...

... but me awfully sick.

Had a long but enjoyable day though. After tutoring, I met up w/ a friend and went "fobbing" ;) (namely Pacific Mall and Market Village)...

However, tomorrow will not be the same.... I will have to actually do some studying :(

But hey, I'll enjoy what's left of today :) I don't think I'll spoil it by opening a textbook. I think I'll go to sleep... something that's very much needed. Long update to come tomorrow! So stay tuned.

(Ooooh, I wonder if the Leafs won tonite's pre-season game against Detroit... hehe... Belfour's skills haven't really tickled my fancy yet)

9.27.2002

The PATH

I remember taking a tour of the Toronto Harbourfront on a boat w/ my relatives when I was in Junior High. The tour guide showed us the Toronto Islands, and talked a little about the city, and how there was an underground path that started from Front St. to the Eaton Centre and ppl usually get lost in the path. Being a little miss know-it-all, I decided to tell my relatives from England that the underground was simply the subway.

Was I ever wrong.

In grade 10, during a music trip down to the Roy Thompson Hall, I decided to be miss know-it-all again, and told my friends I knew my way around downtown. After circling the block for God knows how long, we ended up going underneath to the PATH. That was my first experience going to the PATH, and then I recalled what I told my relatives from England back in Junior High. Heh. Maybe I'll take them there next time they come to Toronto... (too bad they were distant relatives. hehe...)

This was something I thought of as I was spending some time wandering downtown alone. After spending a whole day at The Royal York (OMG, that hotel is just soooo nice... I'll blog about that LATER...), I didn't want to go home straight from the hotel. I decided to explore the PATH on my own. Hehe, even with my keen sense of direction, I nearly got lost! But I'm amazed with how many shops there are in the PATH... very nice ones too. Mind you, I'm not head-over-heels with shopping for fashion and stuff, but rather with the little specialty shops, like home decor and paper/cards shops. I was soooo happy at the PATH. I ought to go there one afternoon after I catch up w/ all my readings. Heh.... My original plan was to start from The Royal York and head to the last stops of the PATH, The Eaton Centre... however, my mom interupted my little journey and needed me to go home :(

Does anybody want to join me for my next exploration? ;)

Yes, I know it isn't really anything THAT special. But it just brings back some funny memories... besides, I enjoy exploring different and unfamiliar places, esp. places where you can easily get lost!

Anyway, I'm starting to ramble. I realize that. Bear with me though, as I am very sick right now, but am not very lethargic at the moment. My cold has turned into some sort of major cold.... :( At least my finger's all right ;)

I'll blog later about my day at The Royal York. In the meantime, I'll rest up and do anything but homework ;) (Although I do have plans to spend some quality time with my law assignments... and possibly my family ;) )

9.26.2002

Today isn't my day...

I'm not sad.... I'm just a klutz ;) (There is a difference! Just like I learned that law doesn't equal to justice from reading my txtbook! Hehe I learned something from reading that law book...!)

The day started early; I had class at 9am, which meant I had to wake up early at around 7:15am... I think I didn't get enough sleep... 'cause usually, when I fall asleep on the subway, I manage to get up at Rosedale, one stop before I have to get off. Today, I woke up at Wellesley, which is one stop after where I'm supposed to get off. I ended up taking the long way to St. George, catching some extra sleep. I think my sleep deprivation led me to my headache. (Thank God for Advil at times like these!)

After my class, I ended up feeling not too well... my nose was pretty stuffed up, probably 'cause I left the window opened for a bit last night. (Even as I am typing, my nose is pretty stuffed) Well... that's okay, I was gonna take some Chinese medicine. As bitter and awful as it tastes, I could still tolerate it.

HOWEVER, as I was preparing the medicine, I accidentally burned my finger w/ the boiling water in the pot. HEH. What a day.

SO, I'm wearing a glove right now on my right hand, with some sort of medication covering my fourth finger.

What a klutz! I'll be all right though.... ;)

i'm free!.... temporarily

All the ugly cacee forms, resumes, and cover letters are done! gone! they all went *poof*! So I'm thinking to myself that I'm free... until my prof for biz law comes into the picture... he hands out a case, to be handed in by next Thursday. GAAAAH :(

I love my biz law class. For the most part, it's pretty interesting, and my prof is amazing at what he does. He tries to get us thinking on our feet, and I can see he loves teaching about what he does. (He's a lawyer w/ his own firm somewhere in London) Unfortunately, the textbook he uses doesn't quite entertain me as much as he does. I fell into a deep coma this afternoon, after reading only four pages from the text.

In other news, I thought I'd share with you my crazy experience on Tuesday night while filling in my one and only online application form for one of the big4 firms. Earlier on Tuesday morning, my friend was telling me about how annoying the application was, 'cause they asked you for your cover letter and resume, but at the same time, they required you to fill in extra stuff about past summer internships and extra-currics. I thought that was weird, since I didn't see that question on the form. Nevertheless, it didn't occur to me something was wrong... heh. So on Tuesday night, while I was talkin' with a friend on ICQ, and finishing up the last of my resumes/cover letters, this friend tells me how much he hates the question on the online form he was filling in. He cut and pasted the question on icq, and the question looked unfamiliar to me. Turns out I filled in the wrong form for that online application!!!! I filled in the general form instead of the summer student one. CRAP. Thankfully, I wrote something earlier about my experiences on my internship, so I used that. Saved by the bell :) (or should I say ICQ?) Let's see what happens within the next two weeks...

The recruiting season has taken my social life away from me. Now that it's over, I was intending to get some of it back... but the pile of readings and assignments awaiting for me in the corner is slowly turning my attention from having fun to having a date w/ my books :( Speaking of which, my coma lasted for a good two hours today... meaning I wasted two hours doing nothing... crud. My books are calling me... *poof!*

9.24.2002

Faith to the min... leads to unexpected things

The theme of my church's summer day camp this year was "Faith to the Max"... right now, I think my personal theme would be on the opposite end of the spectrum - faith to the min. Well, it's not completely non-existent, but it's not very evident either.

I remember silently praying on the first day of school, while riding on the bus, asking God to guide me through this year... I didn't think about praying in advance... it just dawned on me while I was standing in the crowded TTC bus to lift the year up to Him.

Well, it's only the third week of school, and I have already been stressed to the max. At one point, I actually broke down and cried, stressing about school, marks, and accounting job search. I felt infinitesimal. Helpless. At the same time, I felt terrible for not putting my trust entirely on Him.

Through all this though, came some good stuff. Yes, I knew I wasn't the only one stressing about school, marks, and accounting job search. In fact, I had friends in fourth year stressing about it to a greater extent. But only a few related w/ me and understood that I was also struggling inside about my faithless self.

While talking to this girl on Friday at a fancy career day thing, we were talking about a mutual friend, and she suddenly remembered that I was a fellow Christian. We talked about how challenging it could be at UT Commerce, and the lack of Christian support we have amongst our peers. After our conversation, I thought about what we discussed, and also remembered Eugene and I chatting and sharing the day before.

Suddenly an idea sparked up inside my usually mushy and not-so-useful brain...why not start something like a Christian cell group for commerce students?! Although I only knew of a small handful of Christians at Rotman, you never know what may happen! Friends may start bringing friends, and eventually, the Christian presence around Rotman may become more known. Of course, I don't intend to have this as an official UT thing (gosh, it would go thru too much politics...) :)

This is so far all of my thoughts... have yet to pray hard about it. So... this is one of my prayer items for the month.

That's all for now folks.... :)

9.23.2002

And the mystery is revealed... or is it?

I ended off yesterday's blog about clouds.... what's there to say about them?

Nothing really. They're just plain, white and fluffy :)

Actually, it's some weird and unexplainable observation I made while taking the bus home sometime last week. Too complicated to share w/ words, especially with my inability to express myself clearly with writing... I thought it would be simple to write, but as I gave more thought into it, I decided it was too hard of a task... :( ask me in person if you really wanna know :) I'll try explaining to you.... (although even I think my observation is a bit on the absurd and silly side...)

On a totally unrelated note... today was one of the most "out-of-it" days for me... just ask Sarah, and she could testify on my behalf :) Although class started at 2pm for me, I was downtown by 10am... I missed the Bloor stop, so when I woke up at Wellesley station, I decided to stay on the subway and head down to The Eaton Centre and do my studying at the Indigo there. Good studying place, I must tell you!!! I found a studying niche! Yay! Too bad their beverages are so pricey. Got to class and was restless... I find International Economics to be a bore... at least the way my prof teaches it makes me wanna fall asleep.

After class, I walked around and went to the Imaginus poster sale... and got into this confusion of where to have dinner w/ Sarah and Jon & Co.... but alas, I met Sarah at 5pm to head to Young Ichiban to feast on sushi, sashimi, and tempura with Jon, Abraham, and Tammy. It was a nice, small fellowshipping time for the five of us... after that, it was "Monday Night" class at church...

Would blog more but I'm tired and I really want to get my cover letter/resume done and overwith, so I don't have to work on it tomorrow.... only 2 more days until freedom from resumes!!! YAY!

Rain, clouds, and other things

The amount of calories consumed per day should be around 2000cal. I think I went over that limit by ten times today; I just came back from dinner at my grandparent's and boy was I full. She made soooo much food; one of the dishes she cooked up was the equivalent of a meal for my parents and I! The table was laden with lobster, crab, seafood soup, and other yummy things... as good as the meal was, my stomach couldn't take it... too much food! It didn't help that a friend brought over some Krispy Kreme donuts last night... yummy... I had two today... GAAAH! TOO MUCH FOOD FOR ME!!!

While I was feeling very stressed with the resume/cover letter/cacee chaos, it started to pour outside. BIG TIME. Funny how I was chatting with Lyds at that same moment; we were talking about things that would cheer us up. I decided to kneel by my window (it was opened) and just watch and listen to the rain pour. With the breeze and coolness from the rain, I felt very calm for a moment. Across from my house was a little waterfall from my neighbour's roof... it was quite interesting. I told Lyds to stare at the rain afterwards and we both felt a bit refreshed :)

Clouds... what's there to say about them? I was gonna blog about it now, but seeing as to my ever so obnoxious mother is "persuading" me to go to bed, I will leave you in suspense and fill you in tomorrow. Until then, this is Holly signing off from the blogger. :)

9.22.2002

Night out w/ Mom...

Mom woke me up this morning and asked if I'd like join her for dinner at the Hilton Suites in Markham. It's not like I get a fine hotel meal everyday (w/ the exception of this week hehe....), so I agreed before what I knew I was getting myself into. Like someone once said to me, there's no such thing as a free lunch. A fine meal it was, but it took up four hours of my precious time. :P

The dinner I went to was hosted by the Hong Kong Baptist University Alumni Association of Ontario. My mom didn't go to HKBU, but since it was a welcoming dinner for the new principal of HKBU and this dude was a Pui Ching Alumni (my mom's high school), my mom's high school alumni went to the dinner to greet him. I had the opportunity to meet this principal... and his credentials are pretty impressive.

Why am I blogging about tonight while I have absolutely no affiliations with this university?

Well, I just want to share w/ you my thoughts - during the dinner, the PR person from the university showed us a video about HKBU taped by the Radio Television of HK (RTHK) station. I was really impressed w/ the university. It isn't like a typical university, w/ specialized programs like med or dentistry school. In fact, during the speech, the principal emphasized the programs at his school were targeting towards "softer" professions, such as their School of Chinese Medicine. At the same time, they taped a graduation at the university, and the students there were quite close-knitted. (Well, considering the population of HKBU equals to the population of the commerce program at UT ALONE... I would think so.) People were crying and hugging each other during the grad; I can't imagine doing that at my grad at UT - it's too big of a school to do so...

...another thing I was impressed w/ was the school theme song - unlike most schools in HK, their song had Chinese and English lyrics...

O Southern Sea, O Lion Hill, Home of our College Hall,
Where East and West, unite their best, For greater good of all,
With all our hearts and all our minds, we God and man will serve.
Our glorious past, our mission new, Will build a better world.

If all school were like that, it'd be awesome :)

In other news, I visited Lyds at her new and temporary home today! We had a good chat, and I LOVE HER VIEW! It's directly across from the Maple Leaf Gardens, facing the dome w/ a nice true blue maple leaf. I wish I had a camera...

Now I have to kick my own arse and start my cacee form :P

9.21.2002

Krispy Kreme

...opened in Richmond Hill yesterday. After fellowship, Ian and I trotted over to see the lines. My friend who works at KK told me the line wasn't TOO long (drive thru wait approx. 30 minutes..., lining up even faster). Boy, was she ever wrong! The line up itself took approx. 45 minutes! So we ditched our hopes and dreams of getting KK and went to Yokozuna for a late night snack instead.

Man, this recruiting season has taken the life away from me... but all this will hopefully end by Wednesday night!

Up and early on Saturday morning to work on my resume/cover letter/cacee.... wheee... :P Tata :)

9.19.2002

What a Week!

warning: this will be a very very long blog...

It's been a very bery stressful week... and it's not over. Nevertheless, it's been a week of ups and downs, but it's also been a week where I've realized how much some people care about me... at the same time, it's also been a week of realization about friends that simply don't care.

Let's start with the sad stuff first... get the worst over with and enjoy the end.

...the sad parts of my week...
Ever since I left my junior high in gr. 9, I have been hoping and praying I'd be able to meet this "friend" again... (let's just call her G for now...); I kept in touch w/ her all throughout my high school years, but it's always been a one way thing, where I'd always email her and call her, but she never bother to return my letters/emails or calls. Despite that, I still thought she was a worthwhile friend to keep... lots of things happened between us in grade 9, and we shared many good memories and also our faith... when I found out she was going to UT for the same program as I was already in (I fasttracked a year), I was estatic! Unfortunately, I never bumped into her in person during her first year; I saw her w/ her friends once from a distance, but never got a chance to say 'hi'.

It wasn't until Monday afternoon that I realized how naive I had been about this ideal friendship...; I had to make an announcement for the accounting society about the info. sessions, and coincidentally, I ended up making one in a class that she was in. For some strange reason, I had a feeling I might bump into her in that particular class, and I was right. As I was hoping to catch her eye and greet her, I noticed that G and her friends (whom I also knew from junior high but was never really on good terms with) were deliberately looking away, having their backs faced to me, and looking very awkward. It's not like I've changed much appearance wise, and the prof. there also loudly asked for my name (and repeated it) several times. At that moment, I knew that I was always in this one-way friendship, and simply was wasting my time. Even during the announcement I made, I did look over around their area and realized they weren't paying attention and were talking to each other... (while they did pay full attention to the other announcements being made). At first, it really hurt and upset me, but I finally got over it... I guess it's just sad how some friendships could easily fade away and end.

In other news, it's recruiting season for the big 4 accounting firms, and I have been very stressed w/ writing cover letters, resumes, and my untouched CACEE form. Competition has increased this year for summer positions as well, so even amongst some of my peers, I feel that competition is pretty intense. On top of this stress, I also have a whole pile of textbooks waiting for me to read... I've been a bit behind w/ my classes. I swear, the pile of working waiting for me to finish is probably taller than me!!

I've also been struggling inside... remember this blog titled "O Me of Little Faith..." - in midst of this recruiting process, I find myself struggling to really place my trust in Him; I pray but I also find it hard to let go... but I'm learning day by day...

...the happy parts of my week...
...so after telling you my downs, the ups come in. On Tuesday, I was in a terrible mood - on one hand, it was unfortunate that I had to spend the entire day at school, but on the other hand, it was fortunate I was stuck at the Rotman undergrad computer lab, w/ access to icq and the company of friends that care. Normally, nothing is really special with ICQ, but I was talking to the right person at the right time - Lyds. (Lyds, THANK YOU SO MUCH. You don't understand how much it meant to me.) Magda was also there, keeping me company... Japanese food was awesome on such a bad day :)

It wasn't until today that I realized I have really cool friends. As I was about to go home from Rotman, my buddy Euge chatted w/ me, and asked how I was doing, moreso if I was okay from Tuesday. You see, Euge was in the computer lab on Tuesday afternoon, sitting right next to me, but he didn't say anything to me... moreso 'cause he wanted to leave me alone for a bit. It was also cool how Euge and I shared our personal feelings and thoughts, esp. about our faith. It's nice to know friends care.

Haven't received much personal emails lately, but received an ecard - to the one who sent it, thank you :)

For the first time this week, I haven't really relaxed until last night; after a short information session from an acctg firm, two of my ASUT friends and I, plus another girl who graduated 2 years ago from my program went out for... dessert & perogies... yes, what a mix. Nevertheless, it was quite fun and relaxing in midst of the recruiting season. I'm glad to have great company at ASUT, and have met such a nice friend this past week. You see, this girl, Mary, was one of my exam monitors for my FIRST ever UT exam, and I somehow remembered her. (yes, I have this weird thing w/ faces... unfortunately, I'm not as good now w/ putting names to faces...) She attended the info sessions and all, so I got to chat w/ her between breaks and what not.

I'm also feeling much more relaxed... it's a bittersweet feeling, but I feel as if God's taking care of things... I'm slowly absorbing that in. Let's see what happens.

Anyway, enough blogging. Must get to work.... :)

9.16.2002

I'm Still Alive...

... alive and well.

Just been extremely busy with extra curriculars and what not. Recruiting season. GAAAAH :P Plus, my fellowship went camping over the wkend... that was an interesting experience for a first timer.

I'll be blogging regularly soon, I hope....

'Til then, TTFN :)

9.12.2002

Classes...*sigh*

I really hate 9 am classes, but love them at the same time. I'm right now waiting for class to start, but I'm half asleep... :( I nearly missed my bus stop this morning... by the time I woke up on the bus, I was right at the stop I was supposed to get off; thankfully, I was able to get up and get out of the bus on time.

I had the rare and strange experience of sitting in the front of the class yesterday for Korean Civ. That class was jam packed, mostly with Koreans, of course... anyway, I was supposed to get a ride from my mom to the station... the class started at 5pm; by 3:45pm, my mom called and said she couldn't make it in time to pick me up. The buses in my area rarely come, so I was pretty late for class. Surprisingly, I caught one that headed for Steeles as soon as I ran out of my house, but the TTC was pretty slow on Steeles. Eventually, my mom caught up with me around Bayview and Steeles and told me to get off the bus so she could drive me... very bizzarre.

Because I was late for class, I didn't get a seat... 'cause the class was extremely full. Finally, the prof moved his bag from a chair and asked someone waiting in the hallway to sit there; I was the lucky duck. Unfortunately, the seat in the front didn't face the prof, but faced the entire class... so I had to opportunity to see people fall asleep and doze off, but at the same time, I had to keep myself awake, as I was sitting right next to the prof. Heh....

Anyway class starts in 5 minutes. Must get caffeine... :P

9.11.2002

Look what I found!

...forever be daddy's little girl...

Very surprising pic, 'cause a) my dad's actually smiling in a picture, b) my dad had more hair, and c) it's just plain cute.

I've been cleaning my room and looking around the house for things recently, 'cause the lack of space I had to work started to irritate me. Ever since school started, I realized what a mess my room really was; I can't cram anymore books onto my bookshelve, otherwise, it'll topple over me. My drawers are so full that I have to stash a bunch of items in the corner of my room. My desk is so cluttered with piles of papers that I can't even start reading my textbooks! Originally, I had planned to study last night after my Chinese TV show at 9:30-ish... I didn't get started until 11:45pm 'cause I had to clear everything off my desk... plus there were some extra-curricular tasks that had to be done.

Can't believe school has started... my summer has officially ended. My schedule's pretty good but the classes I'm taking are heavy: management acctg, finance (blech!), international economics, and business law. The only bird course I have this year is Introduction to Korean Civilization... heh. After being a hermit for most of the summer, I finally stepped back into UT, bumping into many many people, including this girl I knew from junior high and haven't seen since gr. 9 (which was weird, since we weren't really friends, but she said hi to me first... i didn't recognize her). I felt so bad when it got to a point where I was eating lunch w/ my two friends, but ended spending half the time saying 'hi' to other ppl and chatting briefly w/ those I haven't seen for months. (Yes, I've come to realize I am 'the busy bee' - look back in my aug. archieves about the msn article I read...)

Accounting firms start their visits on campus tomorrow... in a way, I am nervous as I haven't prepared my CACEE nor my resumes/cover letters, but I'll take it as it goes...

Anyway, I just desparately needed a break from studying my management accounting text... back to work :(

9.10.2002

Not by my will or power, but Yours Lord...

How cute huh? A cat and a mouse together... enjoying each other's company rather than the mouse running for its life. Very rare for the two to be together, as the two animals are usually enemies. Apparently, the owner of the cat says the two have been the best of friends for three months... :)

This picture reminded me of the sermon on Sunday, as well as a recent "chicken soup" story I read. The sermon was titled "Challenging the Global Giants" (Giants as in obstacles we personally face)... one thing the speaker said made me think. We may be unable to love and forgive certain people; as humans, our love and forgiveness is limited, but as believers and people of God, His spirits of love and forgiveness would overwhelm us.

The speaker then used an example to illustrate his point, which was taken from the exact "chicken soup" story I read. The author of the story was Corrie ten Boom, a Christian who was in a Nazi concentration camp in WW II and whose family members were killed by the Nazis. She met face to face with the guard that killed her family members, after preaching in Munich about forgiveness. Despite what he had done, she forgave him; she couldn't forgive him by her own might because she struggled inside... but as she puts it, "I had never known God's love so intensely as I did then. But even so, I realized it was not my love. I had tried, and did not have the power. It was the power of the Holy Spirit as recorded in Romans 5:5: '... because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."

I realize I can't do anything on my own... only w/ God's power can I do what He wants... I am weak w/o Him.

9.08.2002

Dear...

Wow, I haven't blogged for a while! I guess I'm trying to enjoy the last days of vacation before I head back to school... I'm sure I'll be blogging more during the school year, as I'll probably need something else to entertain me besides my textbooks and lecture notes.

I've been spending a lot of time at home, just relaxing. Perhaps I've neglected my room too long; I decided to clean it yesterday. While I was cleaning out my drawers, I found a lot of cute note pads (w/ all the Sanrio characters, Snoopy, Morning Glory things...) and Letter Sets... as I was sorting the pads and letter paper out, I came across a bag full of old notes. I've collected a lot of notes from my high school days - ones from Malachi (my youth fellowship; we used to write encouragement notes to people every week), from personal ones, from the kids I taught at camp years ago, and from my high school fellowship. I remember the good old days in gr. 10 when I would rush home from school and write to Karen, a good friend of mine, every single day for the first semester... those were the fun days!

At first, I was glad to sort through the notes and read them one by one. Coincidentally, the bag I put all my notes in had all sorts of Sanrio characters printed on it, with the words "Hello to Happiness". As I continued reading note after note, I slowly realized what a bad friend I've been... not that the notes mentioned anything of that nature, but the fact that I haven't kept in touch with a lot of my note buddies and how some of them said "we haven't talked for a while" or "i don't see you that often anymore" did wake me up... As much as I was smiling 'cause of all the fond memories, I was also upset at myself for not keeping in touch with friends, especially the ones from my high school fellowship.

SO, to all my friends - new or old, if I haven't spoken to you lately due to my laziness, I'm sorry... and if I wasn't here for you when you needed a person to talk to or a shoulder to lean on, I'm sorry... Please be patient with me :) I now have the urge to start my note writing hobby again... perhaps I won't be writing a 3-4 page note/letter, but just a simple "how are you" and stuff would suffice :)

On a totally unrelated note, four years ago today, it was the first day of school in grade 11.... and I was mad at some guy who didn't talk to me for the entire day of school for some stupid reason... funny how I still talk with this guy ;)

9.05.2002

Chinese Checkers

What's so special about marbles and stuff? To most people, nothing really... but to me, it means a lot :) I love the game... simply 'cause I could play it! But it's special 'cause it goes beyond that... I don't normally play Chinese Checkers w/ friends... I only play with family. For some strange reason, this game has helped me bond with many of my family members...

It all started on Saturday night in Elgin, Illinois... my cousins and I were bored out of our minds; we exhausted the x-box system after playing w/ it non-stop for days... so out of the blue, my little cuz brings out a board game. Maybe it was the coke that got us all happy, but I'm sure it was the fun and excitement in the game. My cousins and I were laughing nonstop at stupid moves made by each other, and other distractions, namely my mother, who was being the family clown (some of us weren't in a great mood that day). In the end, an hour after I retired from the game, my little cuz and her bro were teaming up against my mom and uncle. SO cute - two siblings from different generations teaming up against each other for a friendly match. On Sunday night, ALL of us were crowded in the family room, with four of us playing against each other and the others cheering us all on... we nearly went for a full game of six players, but after a long and tiring day for my uncle, cousin and dad, that didn't happen. :(

Maybe it was the post-vacation syndrome that led me to take out the Chinese Checkers box at my grandparent's place last night... I'm not sure what it was, but I had an sudden urge to play. Unfortunately, both my grandparents didn't know how to play. Instead of sulking and putting away the box, I patiently (note the stress on patiently... hehe) taught them how to play, and played a few rounds with them individually! I'm glad I had the chance to spend more time with my grandparents, rather than watching TV silently with them. What a fun and memorable night!

I'm surprised what a game can do... for sure, it has allowed me to bond with many of my family members, including my uncle whom I haven't really talked to in depth until recently. It broke this awkwardness (sp?) between my mom and my little cousin. It opened communication lines for my grandparents and myself. Never underestimate a board game :)

Oh, and I found a Chinese Checkers package at Target (another type of Wal-Mart store in the US) for only $2.88 :) what a deal... hehe... for such a good price, it brings back soooo much more than just a game...!

9.03.2002

Post-Vacation Syndrome

Yep, I'm back in Toronto... after a rather short car ride from Chicago. Usually it takes around 9 hours to get back but it only took us 8 hours... no line ups at customs, and driving at a constant 140km/hour :)

On our way back, we stopped over at Ann Arbor to visit a friend of mine who's entering her first year in her masters program.... we had lunch w/ her and her family. It was quite interesting, since I've never tried Korean food (or Japanese) in the States before... anywho, a funny conversation between her and I came up:

Her: Hey, I got this new cell phone today!
Me: Really? How does it look like?
Her: Oh, it's really lame. It has an antenna sticking out of it...
Me: My cell's got an antenna sticking out of it...
Her: Ooh, let me see :)
So I take out my cell phone...
Her: Ummm... sorry to say this, but we have the same cell phone!

Haha.... :P

I'm at my grandparents' right now; just taught both my grandparents how to play Chinese Checkers! I got hooked on the game after playing countless rounds w/ my cousins... :) Anyway, night :)

9.01.2002

Holly's Whereabouts...

Hello from The Windy City! Haven't blogged in a while, 'cause my cousins don't have broadband or unlimited internet access here.... so I try very hard not to go online. What have I done during these past two days? Not much... except for shopping. I've been to Chicago for like 20+ times so I've been to most of the places before. I finally got myself a winter jacket (my favourite: Columbia!) - I've been in a dire need of one for four years... :P Spent some good chatting time w/ my cousin Heidi and a great hyper time w/ my younger ones... they drink nothing but Coca-Cola here, so it's been quite hyper at night time....

Haven't really had so much quiet time, since there are so many people in this house; however, God's given me an opportunity to think and observe. Last night while watching the teli w/ the family, we watched this special feature about this photographer, and how he was inspired by his parents, both who were blind. I found that the pictures this guy took was really precious 'cause the photos hinted how valuable sight was...
the photographer and his parents didn't take sight for granted like we do, so it's really interesting.

Today, my parents and I had the opportunity to visit one of America's biggest churches, Willow Creek Community Church. Mind you, I didn't have a great attitude going to the service due to some issues going on between my mom and I; also, I was a little bit skeptical about the "realness" of the service, since I have this negative view about large crowds and hype... but was I ever wrong. I remember Dr. Siew, the preaching pastor at my church once mentioned how great the speaker at this one church was - very motivational, but he didn't hit the points of sin and other weaknesses Christians had... in a way, it was "hype". However, the speaker today at Willow Creek was very good - he preached about the differences of knowing & believing in Christ, and actually following Him. It was an eye-opener... very in-depth sermon... his main point - "what does 'follow Him' mean to you? Where to? What to?" Much to think about.

On another note, I didn't realize there was an aspiring photographer in our family! Heidi is AMAZING w/ her photography! She's been taking photography at her high school for the past year and is taking the second level right now; the black and white photos she developed in the darkroom are truly amazing... such hidden talents in the family! I have a new sifu for photography now... hehe :)

Long day today, but my day won't end soon; will probably end up staying up late chatting with Heidi and the other gals... (last night, Heids and I stayed up 'til 3:30am chatting about anything...) Quite tiring, but quite memorable.

Enough blogging from me.... family waiting for me downstairs :)

musings and reflections of hollyholz