musings and reflections of hollyholz: 12/01/2002

12.29.2002

INSERT TITLE HERE

Recently, I've been having trouble thinking of different titles for my blogs... at the end, I just decide not to bother w/, and let my beloved readers think of a title of their own for my blog... :)

Even though Christmas has come and gone, I have the urge to put this up

The Happiest Christmas | Michael W. Smith
Oh the happiest Christmas
Is a homecoming Christmas
With the snow fluttering down 'til the world seems new
~
Bright candles burning
Old friends returning
The wishes of children coming true
And the happiest wishes are just old fashioned wishes
May your days be merry, your sorrows be small
May the ones you love be near you
That's the happiest Christmas of all.

I guess even though Christmas has passed, I'm technically still on Christmas holidays.... haha. Tonight's short, but sweet, gathering with my bestests made me think of this song. I have to admit that this Christmas hasn't exactly been rosy and bright, but the presence of my loved ones, and my dear friends compensates for it.

The original purpose of tonight's gathering was for Jess and I to meet Clary's beau from England, but a lot more came out of it than expected. Jess and I were originally interrogating the beau, but we ended up telling him about how the three of us met. A lot of memories came up, from locker sharing to boy bashing, and we laughed to our hearts' content. As Jess drove me home, we were reminiscing the good old times, and we also shared a bit of our personal thoughts about certain things...

I'm really happy that in whatever circumstances, I have Jess and Clary to back me up... :) Although we barely see each other (heck, the last time I saw Jess was in August!!!... or was it earlier?), I know we're always there for each other. Enough mush. Just want to appreciate my bestests! :)

Waaaaah, today's been one heck of a emotional roller coaster. I'm glad it's ending off on a good and sweet note! :) More adventures and experiences to come... look out world, here I come!

* Note: I added something in the comments section :) Do check... thx!

12.28.2002

"Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get" ~ Forrest, Forrest Gump

I like this saying, since I always think it's rather witty, not simply because it's true... but recently, it's moreso the latter reason why I'm thinking of it.

I feel like I just turned 20, and am about to turn 35.

This Christmas holiday has been quite a surprise to me. I've been looking forward to this 3-week holiday of mine for the longest time... ironically, I want it to go by as soon as possible. (I have my valid reasons...)

I've learned some surprising news from friends and family... some good, some not... but then, isn't life full of surprises?

Just some rambles from Holz's world :)

12.25.2002

Merry Christmas!

...yes, Merry Christmas to you all. This year, I haven't written Christmas cards yet... and will do so later. I've been sick, so I figured people wouldn't want my germs along w/ the cards. Besides, I'd rather write a long and meaningful one rather than a rushed one, since my flu wasted several days of valuable holiday time.

Anyway, I'm at Pegs' house right now, also known as one of my homes away from home. I just watched Lilo and Stitch, and one word in the movie really touched me: Ohana - "family" in Hawaiian.

Treasure your loved ones... no matter what. Even if something drastic does happen, like the movie says, ppl in an "ohana" will never ben left behind, never be forgotten. 'Nuff said.

12.22.2002

Foxtrot Baby!

Since I've been bed ridden and sick all weekend, I haven't been doing much except for sleeping and reading comics. Yes, I decided to catch up on my Foxtrot collection; I exhausted my few Foxtrot books a few years back, and haven't really read them until earlier this month, when I needed some sort of procrastination material from studying. Allow me to introduce you to my favourite comic strip :)

Foxtrot is based on the Fox family, kinda like your typical Family Circus comic, only minus the cuteness and plus a bit of everything. You've got Paige, the shopacholic who's the middle child... then you've got the jock wannabe Peter (the oldest son) and the ambitious-to-take-over-the-world Jason (the youngest son). The parents, Roger and Andy (the mom... it's her nickname... I can't remember her real name!!! Tammy, can you help me out on this one?), are quite hilarious too... man, Andy is the funkiest mom ever... I'd like her to be MY mom, if only she wasn't a health guru and a bad cook. :) Oh, and who can forget about Quincy? :D (Haha visit Bill Amend, the author's, webpage to find out who Quincy is yourself!)

I guess I personally like Foxtrot 'cause of the family feel... :) It's not totally unrealistic, and it kinda gives a warm fuzzy feeling of a somewhat normal family, despite Paige and Jason's constant bickering and fighting... do check Foxtrot out, and let me know what u think! :)

Check out today's strip. Quite hilarious... a typical Jason thing :)

Give me recommendations to other comic strips :) Thanks in advance!

I'm [barely] alive :)
Let's just say, I caught the flu - fever, chills, cold, etc.
It all happened after a trip to the mall :P I really dislike Christmas shopping...
Anyway, just updating you on my whereabouts.
Time for bed :D.

12.19.2002

Good friends are very hard to find... must keep in mind. I find that as each year passes, I realize the need to know who your true and beloved friends are... the ones that are worth your time, and those that are worth an extra token of love and care. However, those friends will be few... at least for me, I know only have a small handful, but nevertheless, I am very thankful for the few.

I also realize that there may be many friends in life that aren't your typical acquaintances, but at the same time, they aren't your best of friends either. Sometimes, it feels like there's this wall between them, simply 'cause I can't really share w/ them on a more deeper level, and that our common interests only consists of getting together simply for some fun. This fact sometimes irks me, but then, I realize it really doesn't hurt to have friends like that... it's just that I have to know who's worth my time and who doesn't...

Before, I used to get frustrated over every single friendship I had, let it be the shallowest (sp?) one to the deepest one. As the years pass, I am slowly learning how to let go of certain friendships and how to treasure the really good ones I have. I know as the years go by in the future, certain friendships may go through rough waters (or some may not!), but nevertheless, those that go through rough waters will certainly be the ones that will be stronger than ever :) So to my dearests, I look forward to seeing our friendships blossom in the coming years :)

Friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say 'never', 'cause a welcome will not end.
Though it's hard to let you go, in the Father's hands we know,
And a lifetime's not too long, to live as friends.
~mws

I'm not feeling sentimental or anything at this moment... just had some thoughts that popped up out of the blue, that's all :)

12.17.2002

The Holz Update!

I've been trying to start this blog for the past hour, but icq and a bunch of other things (like cleaning my room), is holding me back! Anwyay, I think I'll go point form style this one time:

~ Second Cup :)
I love that place... 'cause that's where I do all my catching up w/ friends! Caught up with my high school friend Charmaine, and also Sarah... :) I just somehow like talking for hours and hours... :) Well, with Sarah, it was for an hour only, but still, it was nice (and the cake we shared was scrumptious!!!) I love catching up with people... what an awesome time and feeling! :) It's cool w/ Charmaine too, 'cause it's as if neither of us changed since our Thornlea days... you see, many people since high school have changed, so it's nice to know how there are certain ppl that will always be the same :)

~ Christmas songs!
Worship practice was wicked last night! We had a blast jamming to Christmas songs, in the funkiest way, since Sarah decided to try out the synthesizer... so while playing w/ it, we managed to get trance and dance beats in the church sanctuary :) What a scene! :D (If that happens on Sunday, I'm gonna be laughing!)

~ Shopping... is... crazy.
'Nuff said? Yep :) Well, I finally spent some time at a mall with Karen today... but there wasn't anything at Fairview that I wanted, nor did I think people on my shopping list would want. I spent some quality time w/ Karen, but I find that it's hard to catch up while shopping... 'cause you're multitasking then :( So Karen, we must sit down and chat next time, okay? :) However, Karen got me into this H20 fettish... :) More stuff to add onto the wish list now! :)

~ Anastasia
No, not the movie... my friend Anastasia that is! :) I met up with AnaV (my nickname for her) after my shopping trip w/ Karen at Bayview Village... like Carol ranted in her blog about Bayview Village, it's really a nice place. Anyway, that's besides the point. Anastasia is one of my closer UT friends... which is really precious since UT is so huge and also, our program is rather competitive, so it's really hard to find friends you can relate to. Talking about anything from hockey (we're both Leaf fanatics) to boys, we really do click :) Anyway, AnaV, thanks for the surprise gift and the cookies :) Will try them soon!!

~ I FOUND A FELLOW FOXTROT LOVER!!! :) Tammy, you rock! :) I swear, no one knows what foxtrot is... only those with the Toronto Sun would know... but heck, who reads that? Not me!

~ Haven't really thought much these days... I find that excessive thinking hurts my brain :) Sooo.... I'm taking it easy and relaxing at the same time... but since I'm stuck at home the entire day tomorrow (I'm trying to maintain a balance of staying at home and going out, just to avoid spasms from my mother :) ), I may come up with different thoughts and what not. We'll see!

In the meantime, take care... and if you're in need of extra reads, feel free to scroll down and look at my Christmas wish list on the right :) *hint!*

12.15.2002

Online Shopping - Holz's Recommendations :)

I've been doing online browsing eversince I got back tonight... so here are my recommendations :) Enjoy!! :D Mind you, this is for both actual shopping and simply online window shopping ;) - Will be updated continuously!

gifts, gadgets, and stationery
iomoi.com - funky notes & letter sets
kates paperie - lovely stationery store in NYC and Connecticut
momastore.org - NYC's Museum of Modern Art... everything from stationery to funky jewlery
red envelope - one of my favourites :) lovely gifts
uncommon goods - an alternative to red envelope, but more pricier
future shop - good for tech gadgets :) me likes

clothing and jewelery
tiffany & co. - nono, only a good window shopping site... nothing else!*
gap
roots
nordstrom - i swear, american department stores are soooo different in class and style compared to canadian department stores
shopbop.com - recommended by tammy; i like the style :)
neiman marcus - again, another window shopping site

* disclaimer: any addiction to this site is totally not of my responsibility... :)

12.14.2002

Holidays are here!

However, my holidays started out in a painful way.... I got one of my wisdom tooth out :P Originally, I was gonna get my last two out, but my dentist told me only one of them was necessary.... so yay for me, less pain! :) Nevertheless, the past two days have been spent in pain and in starvation. :P

I have a few plans for this holiday... I haven't really done much since my last exam, since I've been sofa-ridden for the entire day yesterday, and my uncle from Chicago arrived today... so haven't had much time to think about it... besides, I've been moaning over my exam yesterday... BUT i'm slowly getting over it :D... anyhow, here are my plans:

~ Write Christmas cards... lots of them!
~ Get together with friends... some UT friends, some high school friends, some long lost friends
~ Eat to my heart's content... after my pain goes away, that is
~ Watch Handel's Messiah (TSO Soundcheck!!! :D)
~ Watch lots of TV and Hockey
~ Go shopping... :D
~ Search for a Summer Job
~ Compile a late Christmas wish list
~ Write letters - I miss writing them (and getting them!)
~ Continue doing my Tigger photomosaic puzzle

Anyway, I'm blogging at my grandma's right now... and since she has limited internet access using a PHONE line (*sigh*, those were the old OLD days), I better get goin'.... Tune in for more of Holz's adventures tonite/tomorrow :)

12.12.2002

"...oh family tree, oh family tree!"

(think of the Christmas carol "Oh Christmas Tree" as you read my blog title)

My cousin's urgent plea for help w/ her homework assignment made me realize that I really don't know my family too well. You see, Heidi's assignment was to draw a family tree, but since she didn't know our great-grandparent's names and faces (well, neither did I, with the one exception of my great-grandfather), she wanted me to call my grandma for the info. As I was talking to my grandma (from my mom's side), asking her for the names, I realized how funny my great-grandma's name was.... but then, that's really bad of me to laugh at her name. Nevertheless, I then realized how behind each great-grandparent's lives was probably a long and interesting tale...

I really don't know my dad's side of the family too well either. In fact, I really don't know my uncles or aunts too well from that side, let alone my grandmother... I find that sad :(... Perhaps one of my goals in the coming year is to know my family more and more... despite the actual distance between us. I mean, my aunt and uncle are in Japan, but I still manage to keep in touch with them from time to time... in fact, I really treasure our emails and telephone conversations :)

Anyway, just a random thought. Countdown 'til my holidays: 1 day; 2 exams down, 1 to go.

12.11.2002

I just saw the cutest thing.... in the history of the hockey world....

...a 2 year old sang the Canadian national anthem right before a Canucks game. That was soooo cute.

I think that's the second sweetest memory of a hockey game I ever have, next to the picture of Queen Elizabeth graciously dropping the puck at the Canucks game during her Canadian trip earlier this year.

Why do the sweetest hockey-related moments happen with the Canucks? :D

... yes, this is Holly sidetracking from studying like mad for her business law exams... too many issues to identify in the cases! :P

12.10.2002

Christmas, Coffee & Coffee Girl, Countdown, and Other Things...

... I'm still around! :D Countdown 'til Holz's holidays begin: 3 days... 2 exams down, 1 to go.

However, one of the exams I finished last night did not go too well... due to different reasons. First, the exam was missing half the questions, which led many of us (or at least myself) astray w/ a directionless question. Second, I stared blankly at my exam for a good 20 minutes without knowing what to do... Lastly, I just wrote anything I could think of, and did minimal calculations, since this WAS a management accounting exam, where there's supposed to be a good mix of calculations and qualitative issues... ah wells. I'm concentrating on biz. law now... so no more (I hope!) worrying or moaning over my exam last night! :)

Anyway, I was gonna blog about Christmas and Coffee stuff last week, but am going to do so now instead...:

...Christmas...
While studying last week at Timothy's, I realized how I've forgotten that Christmas was coming up. I looked out at the entrance of Timothy's and noticed all the Christmas decorations out on the concourse level of the building I used to work at (the North American Centre)... during last week, I was also dropped off at Fairview Mall (moreso "on the way" to the Don Mills subway station) and while I was strolling through the stores for a quick bday present for my mom, I noticed the beautiful Christmas lights dangling from the ceiling...

... for a minute, I told myself that the decorations and everything really made a difference, in that it reminded me of Christmas, and made me feel cheery. Nothing's wrong with that! Then I also realized what gets me excited about Christmas - my frequent family trips to the States... but I also realized how I was pretty down when we didn't make those trips.

Finally, I remembered I always forget the true meaning of Christmas... the meaning isn't behind the decorations and the festive hoopla, nor the activities and trips planned with friends and family, but the birth of Jesus... oh, at least I realized this sooner rather than later... but still, this is one of the things lingering on my mind.

...Coffee & the Coffee Girl...
Coffee.... I was at Timothy's rather frequently last week, so I tried various blends of flavoured coffee, including Egg Nog. The one I tried at Second Cup today, the Holiday blend, was rather bitter despite its cheery name. Anyway, I don't quite remember what I wanted to write for coffee specifically... but I do remember the coffee girl part, so I'll cut the ramblings and go on w/ my thoughts on THE coffee girl.

No, the coffee girl isn't me. It's this girl, An, that I met last week at Timothy's. As I mentioned already, I was at Timothy's quite a bit last week (in fact, several times a DAY, and each time, I sat for at least an hour), so An recognized me, and realized I was there studying for my exams. On Friday, as I was studying for economics, I had a chance to chat with An during her breaks... (yes, notice "break" is plural... which hints how long I was there for!) and she told me how she's been working at Timothy's for a long while, (You see, I met this other timothy's girl during my summer term at this company in the building, and asked An about her whereabouts, and it turns out that An's been working there waaay longer than the other girl has) yet, it's such an enjoyable job. She enjoys working at Timothy's 'cause of the culture and the ppl she meets; most of them are working people and are frequent customers, so she gets to know them and chat with them often. Her life is pretty simple and she met her good friends and boyfriend thru work... :) I really liked her lifestyle... although I don't think I'll ever been An, I just thought a simple and interesting life like hers DOES exist in this ever-so-busy and competitive world. And An's reeeeaaaaly nice - I think her rep runs through the buildings, 'cause one of my former colleages told me about her before my chat with her (he asked me what I wanted to be, and I told him I wouldn't mind being a barista), and what a great friendly personality she has. Anyway, just thought I'd share.

...and Other Things...
Yes, I've been quite a hermit... I've skipped fellowship and a LOT of other things 'cause of studying. It's sad how Ian told me in an email in regards to my absence to bowling on Friday night for fellowship... quoting his email, "people were wondering where you were, and it was agreed that you were home studying. "she's so hard-working" everyone says, which is true. peggy and lillian always ask where you are." *sigh* and sadly, it was true!

I managed to get some relaxing in between... even though my mgmt acctg exam didn't go well, I thought I've done my best in studying, sooo can't really worry tooo much. My family and family friends managed to go downtown for some good food the night before my exams (yes, I had two exams on Monday...). My mom's been telling me to relax constantly as well... it's quite interesting how I haven't really freaked out majorly these past few days... but there shouldn't be any reasons why I should.

I also got a belated bday gift from my aunt in Japan... a stuffed bean pig! It's adorable, and I'm in love with it. I got that package RIGHT before heading downtown for my second exam on Monday, so that cheered me up a bit!

So now, I only have one exam to study for, but it's a heavy course - business law. Today was spent studying with a pal of mine, Sabrina... we did everything... and by that I mean everything from studying, eating, relaxing, shopping, to listening to funny Carribean songs. It was quite productive and fun... spending most of our day at the Second Cup on Steeles near Bayview... I love that place for studying WITH people... otherwise, it's tooo distracting. But man, couldn't imagine such a nice combo of studying and having fun :) I'll miss Sab next term, since we won't have any similar courses :(

I'm taking off for the night...! Gonna catch up on the Chinese shows I missed during my studying blitz, and then heading off to bed. :) I'll be back soon, so stay tuned!

12.08.2002

I lied. *gasp*

I was going to blog... in fact, I started writing. However, my blog entry was quite.... choppy, and I'm kinda stressed at this moment... so... I'll save my blog for later. :D However, I've added a little story underneath my current "picture of the moment" section (look at the side...), so feel free to read that little blurb.

Management accounting sucks :P

Countdown 'til MY holidays start: 6 Days.... - 0 exams down, 3 to go....

Happy Birthday, Mei Ying Yee Yee!!!

12.07.2002

I'm still around!!! I've been studying for my international econ. exam for the most part of today, and surprisingly, relaxing a bit at night... however, I did have a blog in mind, but since I want to get some rest before studying for accounting, I'm going to sleep first :) Sooo, stay tuned for my blog on Coffee, Christmas, Coffee Girl, and Other Things.... (yes, my weird thoughts from studying at Timothy's for the majority of the afternoon... *sigh*)

Nite!

oooh, just for me to grin at for now...:

12.05.2002

I'm not really in a mood to blog... I feel numb presently. However, I'll post some lyrics that reflect my recent state of mind... :)

Never Been Unloved . Michael W. Smith

I have been unfaithful
I have been unworthy
I have been unrighteous
And I have been unmerciful.

I have been unreachable
I have been unteachable
I have been unwilling
.And I have been undesirable.

And sometimes, I have been unwise.
I've been undone by what I'm unsure of.
But because of you, and all that you went through,
I know that I have never been unloved.

I have been unbroken
I have been unmended
I have been uneasy
And I have been unapproachable.

I've been unemotional
I've been unexceptional
I've been undecided,
And I have been unqualified.

Unaware, I have been unfair
I've been unfit for blessing from above.
But even I can see, the sacrifice you made for me
To show that I have never been unloved.

It's because of you, and all that you went through,
I know that I have never been unloved.

12.04.2002

Quick Random Thoughts/Updates

~ Too busy studying these days :P never have I read so much in so little time... and it doesn't help that half the stuff I'm reading is refered to in Korean terms

~ As a result of studying for Korean Civ. all day, I ended up skipping finance... and just before heading out for a quick lunch, I receive a call on my cell...

Me: Hello?
Him: Hello, this is Professor B from your finance class. I handed out an assignment today and thought you may want to know. Why weren't you in class today?
Me: (not listening carefully, 'cause I was tired from reading 50+ pages of Korean History) ...'cause...i....was.....not.... feeling...toooo well today (which was true, since I had a major headache this morning)
Him: Oh I see... blah blah blah blah (by this time, I started noticing a change in my "prof's" voice...)
Me: ANDREW!!!

Yes, my friend from class cranked called me.... and he actually had me fooled for a moment! Anyway, that was a laugh of the day!

~ I love puzzles... but unfortunately, they distract me from studying. I got a puzzle (the one I wanted: the Tigger photomosaic one) as a b-day gift, so I started to use it as a stress reliever. However, I think it's detering me from my studying a lot more than I expected.... *sigh* :) I actually have a bit of it done already!

~ Besides studying and puzzles, nothing else is happening... :( Oh how I wish next week will come and go quickly!

12.01.2002

Holz's top ten birthday memories!

1. receiving long distance birthday wishes (the waterloo gals, jess, my aunt & uncle from japan...)
2. receiving calls from friends i haven't talked to for ages (nellie, clary - although i did see her yesterday)
3. traditional family birthday "cake" - why "cake"? 'cause we only buy three slices of cake from a fancy cake store since there's only the three of us!
4. the 'H'.... at least the soon-to-be :)
5. hot potting with my second family, as well as quality family time spent for the past two days
6. birthday cards
7. magda's young woman bday e-card - hilarious
8. laugh of the day - antonio and the raptors wishing me a happy birthday thru the "raptors insider email list"
9. receiving well wishes from people in general.... esp. those who remembered :)
10. napping - i spent an hour of my special day lying on the couch, half conscientious :) it felt good.... :D

I'm finally 20....

... and yes, life is a lot different than it was when I was 19... but even if my birthday wasn't today, life has changed quite a bit for me, for many reasons which I won't share with you since I'm not permitted to... at least not in this blog setting.

So, how did I celebrate today? I didn't. I blame it on school!!! :) Nah, it's just that I personally have a lot to study, and so do lots of people I want to celebrate with... so I'll postpone bday celebrations until the 16th... (even though my exams end on the 13th, I'm also getting my wisdom teeth pulled out right after my law exam... so GAAAAAAH!)

One thing I know though, is I've grown up... before, if ppl forget my bday, I'd actually moan and groan over it... this year, even though ppl forgot, I'm indifferent. :) Either that, or I'm just getting used to it ;) But to those who wished me well, thank you!!!!! :D

Meeting up with Ian in an hour for dinner... then back to study land.... 'tis life.

musings and reflections of hollyholz