The Struggles of Ministry

The thing I feared most happened today.

When my dad took on the role of chairing the Seniors fellowship, I decided to help out and serve with him and mom in that ministry. However, I knew there would be the risk of knowing someone and then losing them eventually, due to old age. Yet, I didn't expect such a situation would happen so soon. It has been one and a half years since we began serving in Caleb Fellowship.

After coming home from an impromptu grocery run, my dad broke the news to mom and I, letting us know that Mrs. Cheung passed away. She was a short lady - quite old, actually. 91 to be exact. She was a faithful woman - she led bible studies in her past, shared a LOT (about half an hour...) during sharing time when other seniors would just sit there and not share, and cared about my family a lot. Often times, while waiting for her family members to pick her up, she would invite my family to go dim sum with her, but we always said 'no, thank you' ('cause we didn't want to intrude on their family, plus there were only soooo many things you could talk about).

It was funny how I mentioned to mom yesterday that Mrs. Cheung wasn't at fellowship. Little did I expect what happened. Apparently, my parents told me that she hasn't been around for a few weeks (not since we came back from Chicago). She passed away this morning.

It's sad to know that I won't see Mrs. Cheung in the near future... at least not on earth. However, it's a good thing to know that she's in Heaven already. :)


Faith & Other Things that Make Me Smile

According to Max Lucado, the definition of FAITH - A conviction that he can and a hope that he will.

I've been experiencing faith a lot these past few days, in the midst of the recruiting season and with school work piling up. Despite the busyness, I've been able to keep up with things for the most part, and haven't gone through any breakdowns (unlike last year - I broke down before the information sessions even begun!) I am certainly not feeling anxious about these resumes (considering that I'm a worrywrat, not worrying about it for more than five minutes a day is considered not worrying at all!). So, I pray that I will continue to look up to Him and trust that He has a plan for me in His hands - let it be with a company of my choice or not.

On a totally unrelated note - I find that it's really stupid of people to blog about their peeves and their dislikes about their own friends, especially when they don't really fully comprehend the situation (AND especially if that 'friend' checks the blog out on a regular basis). It's one thing to be open, and another to really step on someone's toes, especially when it's really not their business. Just felt like I had to get that out in the air.

Onto happier things - more things that make me smile: (btw it's in no particular order)
64) Starbucks Cappucino
65) Long and meaningful emails
66) Being able to bond with someone, and being sure that the friendship will go somewhere down the meaningful path of life
67) Memories of Lillian's diaphragm power
68) Ken Foo's TCard
69) Watching the sky change from day to night during dusk
70) Eating. I love food.
71) Bonding over a hot pot session
72) Bday surprises
73) Receiving COMMENTS on my blog posts (hehehe)
74) Knowing my parents are happy
75) Dim Sum with my grandfather, and enjoying traditional Chinese tea with him
76) A good night's sleep without any weird dreams

Speaking of sleep... I must end off. :) It's a little late for this young lady here.


Things that Make Me Smile

I've decided to bite off Ann's page and list the things that make me smile. :) It's actually a good idea to really write things down and constantly remind myself the blessings I've received... and it's rather therapeutic. Or perhaps I just like to procrastinate :) Mind you, this will be an ongoing list... I'll add onto it from time to time.

ANYWAY, so things that make Holz smile:
1) Knowing that God is there in whatever circumstance
2) Mom - her hugs, comforting words, meals :)
3) Dad - his annoying list of nicknames for me, his love for cameras & me
4) Snail mail/cards
5) Personal Emails
6) Dinner/Coffee w/ Friends - something like yesterday's post
7) Powershot G3
8) Cousins - Michelle, Heidi, Sam, Jo, Al, Chunbie
9) The McEacherns :)
10) My cousin on dad's side - Seeying
11) Other family members
13) Catching up with Myles
14) Exploring the city
15) Hong Kong
16) Elgin, Illinois - make that Schaumburg as well :)
17) IT
18) Kate Spade :)
19) Nichole Nordman CDs
20) My favourite movies: About a Boy, The Sound of Music
21) Pictures from the past
22) Vancouver, BC
23) Childhood friends - Richard, Vicky, Sharon, just to name a few
24) Timmy's, Ice Cream, & Other Unnecessary Junk Food with Sarah :) (of course, the chats are awesome too!)
25) Chatting with buddies outside of Ontario - Ira, Rosie, cousins, Tammy
26) Josiah - this past year
27) Starbucks Chai Latte - VENTI size though :)
28) Roots
29) Bonding w/ certain Emmanuel folks
30) Jess & Clary
31) First day of class in grade TEN - my first friend at Thornlea... Karen-o!
32) Ikea Catalogue (that makes me dream of my future home's decor)
33) Willow Creek Community Church
34) Milestones Bellini's (I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC!)
35) Mariko outings (look here to see what I mean)
36) Playing Piano
37) TVB Shows
38) Frasier
39) Everybody Loves Raymond
40) Bonding w/ fellow Josiah-ites outside of fellowship time
41) The memories of being the outsider - being teased and laughed at by Hals, Richard, et al.
42) Memories of my Russia Trip
43) Getting two strikes in a row for bowling
44) Driving on my own
45) Driving in Michigan - especially this past summer! (80!)
46) Chinese Checkers - with 5 other players
47) Learning chess at Starbucks
48) Pigs of all sorts - stuffed, figurines, the real ones
49) Foxtrot
50) Completing a jigsaw puzzle - a really hard one, that is
51) Being reminded of God's grace
52) Upper Room
53) Authenticity
54) Receiving postcards from afar
55) Photoboth pics (the ones on a strip...)
56) Downtime at Starbucks
57) Timmy Horton's COFFEE... the ultimate. No ifs, buts.
58) Realizing God's purposes for certain things
59) Loblaws at Bayview & Hwy 7
60) Loblaws photolab
61) Tiffany's, Lukfook, Chow Sang Sang - JUST LOOKING! :)
62) Relaxing Sundays
63) TV Time w/ Parents

Will continue on... am getting tired :P :)


Pho & The Upper Room

I thought I'd take a bit of today off from school work and relax a bit; I figured it'd probably be my last enjoyable wkend before all the deadlines for assignments, midterms, quizes, and projects are due until November. Was I ever glad I took a bit of time off today :)

Most of the fun & meaningful parts came towards the night; the worship team I'm part of at church had an outing. We decided to dine and head to The Upper Room at Rexdale Alliance together. So it was Ken, Ann, Sarah, Lillian, and myself for the night although Richard joined us at Rexdale later.

Dinner at the Vietnamnese place was hilarious... unfortunately, Sarah had a glimpse of my TCard (my UT student identification) earlier and had a good laugh; she decided to share her happiness with others by telling them about my TCard. Ann, being the hilarious girl she is, told Ken to pull out his photo IDs... and with five cards, we were able to see what Ken has morphed into over the years :) One of which was his TCard... All of us had a good look at the cards... but for some reason, Ann took Ken's TCard and asked Lillian if she had seen it yet. Unexpectedly, she waved the TCard in Lilli's face... and out came the Pho Lilli was about to swallow. Yep, she choked while looking at Ken's picture. :D (I must admit, it's worse than my TCard... hahaha!)

After a good dinner, we quickly sped to Rexdale where we had a good night of worship. I heard great things about The Upper Room before, but it was my first time attending. I had a struggle midway during the worship, but it felt like I was torn between really wanting to worship and being disturbed by thoughts in general. Regardless, the night ended with a conviction that God overcomes all things. It was awesome to see so many people worship. It was really authentic and personal.

Sarah drove me home afterwards, but not without stopping at MickeyDees for Ice Cream and Fast Food... yes, we had a McFlurry first, but was craving for Fries and Chicken Nuggets afterwards. :D My Ice Cream & Food buddy :)

My regular blog readers would know I rarely blog about the happenings of my day... with the exception that it was meaningful and worth remembering... today was the exception :) Tune in next time for my summer reflections OR things to smile about :)


An Impromptu (and small) Toronto Tour

As I headed for school today, I had to make a stopover at Union Station to drop something off on behalf of ASUT. Mind you, my auditing class started at 4pm, and I was at Front & Yonge at around 3:30pm... which wasn't really good since time was short. The shop was right on Front Street, east of Yonge; as soon as I passed Yonge St., there was a totally different atmosphere and feel of the city. I was fascinated with the buildings along Front Street, as well as the side streets northeast of Front & Yonge.

As soon as I dropped off the document, I took out my camera and started shooting - at the park, buildings, streets, whatever. I always knew there was more to Toronto than CN Tower, Skydome, ACC, and other tourist attractions...

I came to the conclusion that Toronto was a city full of culture - unlike many metropolitan cities, however, you have to spend LOTS of time searching for the history behind many places and things. After the short photo shoot, I decided I am ever more determined to really find out what Toronto has to offer and its past. It's a great city.

Oh, and I ended up being late for Auditing... but c'est la vie.

Photos are up on imagestation :) enjoy!


Week One Reflection

So, people have been asking me how school is so far... and my response is that it feels as if I've been back for a month already! Some people have it easy... first week is a breeze for them. As for myself, I'm already behind with some classes :) (although it isn't really my fault per se, since I couldn't find the course outline ahead of time)

As Pastor Ken mentioned today in his sermon, high school is the time where kids find their faith, and university is the time where the faith is tested. I can seriously relate to that. Last year was moreso a revelation than a test, with my mom and other things... God pulled me through. This year is moreso a test. My motto this week - "let go, let God."

Having to go through recruiting season and juggling with homework & assignments simultaneously sucks. But then, I know I'm not alone, so it's not like I'm the only one here suffering.

I also come to the realization I suck at keeping in touch. By no means do I refer to the simple things as to how people are doing and what they have been up to, but rather being part of the changes in their lives. This past week, I've seen many people whom I haven't seen since school ended months ago... some haven't changed at all; others changed big time. I guess even though the friendship is still the same, there are certain changes in their lives that I wish I was part of... to see how they grow or change. I just simply suck at keeping in touch. However, I am attempting to keep in touch with those who are away for university. :) This past wk, I managed to talk to others around the globe too, like Lyds who's backpacking in Europe and Ira, my long time friend in San Fran.

Despite the struggles and revelations, I still am thankful for constant reminders. In a way, it's telling me that God is constantly watching over me... and even if I drift a little, He's still in the same spot. God is good.

For my fellow sis' and bros in Christ, keep me in your prayers. Pray that I will be able to keep my faith and that I will let Him work while I try my bestest. Let me be able to fully trust that He has my future in His hands, despite the uncertainty with the recruiting season. Also pray for the ministries I'm part of - for all of us in the same team to really serve Him and have Him reveal to us what He wants for the fellowship or groups.

Hopefully, I'd be able to share my reflections of the past summer soon, even if it's a little late. :) It's been one interesting ride... nothing fun & exciting like Contiki tours, but rather... reflective and deep.


September 8, 2003

A very important date indeed - school begins.


But one outstanding number's on my mind....



'Cause that's the number of courses I'm taking....

ARGH!!!! :P

It was also the first day of school 5 years ago...
I just find it somewhat significant... :D


New Pics are up!

Yes, the pictures from my trip are UP!


I strongly suggest that you sign up for an account, so that you can view my other pictures in the future... :) Besides, if YOU have a digital camera, you too, can use it as your photo album (note: UNLIMITED WEBSPACE!) Also, you can comment on it... hehehe :D

I like it 'cause it makes it waaaay easier on my part to upload pictures.

Anyway, there's been so much thoughts and things happening in my head and in my life, but at the same time, I don't want my blog entries to become like verbal diarrhoeas. Let me think it thru carefully first :) Then I'll share.

As well, this summer has been quite an interesting one... lots to reflect on.

We shall wait.... :)