musings and reflections of hollyholz

I need a break.

Don't get me wrong - I haven't been extremely busy at work. I've been having some down time at work compared to my peers. Rather, I've been spending a lot of time with my grandma, my small group, old friends, sarah's upcoming wedding, and family.

As a result, the things I've neglected are piling up - the mess in my room, organizing pictures from my digital camera, reconstructing certain lost documents that disappeared when my hard drive crashed, tracking my expenses (which have been and will continue to be a lot), writing snail mail to people, birthday cards to cousins, and most importantly, maintaining a healthy relationship with God.

I need to learn how to prioritize... seriously.

posted by Holz @ 11:00 PM |

On the Lighter Side of Things...

... I haven't blogged about my whereabouts for a while, so here goes a light, fluffy blog. So what's new?

- Grandma's back in town for the next while, so it's back to juggling between family, grandma, friends, and work. Thankfully, April's been a slow month at work.
- Talk about an athletic year coming along... volleyball starts tomorrow (for me); I joined the Saints for softball, and doing a running thing w/ a few girls. Oh, and working out on my own too.
- Baking's been a bit slow only cos I've been out a lot lately (i.e. Orillia last week, plus I haven't been home much since coming back). However, look for more goodies on the way!!! (i should post some of my masterpieces, no?)
- Being inspired to pick up mandarin again with Tam. Only cos he says my mandarin sucks. That makes me very ashamed of myself, given that I spent two years in university, and a good decade of Chinese school before that learning mandarin (although I did cheat quite a bit in Chinese school back in the days... before guilt overcame me and I tattletaled on myself to the teacher)
- Having worked for a year and a half, today marked the first day I was really late for work just 'cause... I slept in, couldn't find my glasses, and just decided work could wait. Haha.
- Apparently, I've been told I have some juicy and interesting stories to share... :) however, being the anti-drama queen that I am (because really, the word drama irks me. especially used when referring to relationship and friendship problems. cos really, when one puts things into perspective, the problem on hand isn't really that big of a deal...) I find that the current stage of life that I'm in is quite interesting, although it definitely tests my patience.
- Went shopping voluntarily with Mils on Sunday. Don't know what's gotten into me, but I still have the shopping bug in me. I actually didn't mind shopping w/ Jennifer today after dinner...! Most people would call Jennifer to simply shop, but with me, it's to do anything BUT shop. Haha.
- Trying to plan for a trip that may not even happen. Anyone interested in NYC?
- Learning to realise that I'm growing up... and that not being home much is a very normal thing. Looking back, I haven't really been home much the past four days. Excluding sleeping time, I was home for 1.5 hours on Saturday, 3 hours Sunday, 1 hour Monday, and 1 hour tonight. Not much... I barely see my parents, and I think my dad is still having trouble adjusting to my absence. (oh, which reminds me of a story that I shall share but save for another day)

Anyway, it's time for bed. Maybe a more in depth or interesting post later? I don't want to stroll into work at 9:30am two days in a roll.... haha. :) However, my parents aren't home yet... strange things. 'Nite!

posted by Holz @ 12:25 AM |

Similarities - Part I

Recently, I've been noticing a few similarities in the different areas & interests in my life:

- Music: My iPod library is quite vast; I've had people comment that my collection is quite diverse. I agree with that - but I also realise each of the different artists/genres of music that make up my library isn't as... vast. For example, I'd only have one U2 album, or one Gwen Stefani album, one classical music album, one J-pop artist, and one Kayne album. One other thing I noted was that I don't know a lot about the artists or the different artists within each genre that makes up my iPod library.

- Tea: I like tea a lot. I have quite a bit of tea... however, after endless blogs about tea and what not, I realise I don't know my teas that well. I have a bit of different types of tea - roobois, matcha, jasmine pearls, jasmine, oolong, pu-erh, ti kwan yin, monkey picked leaves, bik law chun, earl gray, lady gray, english breakfast, and the list goes on. However, without labels, I probably won't be able to tell some apart from the others, especially some of the Chinese ones like bik law chun and shau mei. In fact, due to busy season, I neglected to label some of the tea I bought and now, they remain nameless to me... (fortunately, it was just three 100g bags... but still :P so much for a connoiseur-wannabe) I still like tea a lot though... and wish I could learn to savour and know the different types of tea more...

- Sports: I've limited myself to playing only badminton, volleyball (court & beach), and possibly softball this season... cos really, if I had all the time in the world, I'd try a lot of them. While conversing with my senior today, she asked me what I played, and I only named badminton and volleyball. She probed a bit more, and out came the list of things I have played or like to play: jogging, tennis, basketball, softball. Truth is, if I could, I'd wanna dragonboat, touch up on tennis, learn hockey, play ultimate (although the cardio would kill me :P), and other sports. However... out of all the things I've listed above, I'm no good at any of them. In fact, I can barely play well on a recreational level for badminton as my friend and I had our arses whopped by this kid and his mom last Tuesday at the Y.

Do you see a common trend yet? This blog is to be continued... as I continue to analyse this trend in the different aspects of my life, outside of my interests.

posted by Holz @ 10:34 PM |

current thought: to become nonchalant about the miniscule and nonimportant things in life.

posted by Holz @ 11:51 PM |

Parental Units - Part II

I'm actually glad I delayed this post until today... seeing how a conversation with my dad last week made me realize there were more things than I had originally thought that is worth sharing. To make a long story short, he asked me if I knew what a blog was. (Haha, I'm glad no one in the family has spread the word out yet... hahaha) We ended up having a 10 minute argument because of this question... as I told him blog is in essence a "web log". He didn't understand that and I had thought he did. To me, I had thought my explanation was pretty self-explanatory but all he heard was "blog". Looking back, this little 10 minute argument was hilarious but not so during the actual discussion.

I've realized that in the recent years, my dad and I have been bickering more - sometimes moreso than I do with my mother. I do wonder if this has to do with him aging in the recent years. I find that as the years progress, my parent's way of dealing with me have kinda switched - my mom being less picky and my dad being moreso. I must admit, it's a bit hard dealing with this change seeing how my dad used to be so lax about almost everything. How so?

- I went to him first when I began dating... not my mom.
- I confide in him first with my issues before my mom, as he is the more logical one
- I tell him about my aspirations (yes, one of the rare few that i have) - in fact, he's the one who's supporting my dream to become a barista/tea connoiseur of my own whereas mom's telling me to give it up!

But then, this man is the one who has also made me:
- Dread math (I wrote "i hate math" on my homework and agendas while he tutored myself and many other students)
- Maintain a love/hate relationship with badminton
(but now turning to the positives...)
- Focus on what God has instore for me... not what he himself has in store for me. Something I'm extremely thankful is that him and mom have never pressured me to become anything specific, as long as it was something w/n the professional field
- Many marvelous midnite sandwiches when I was a kid (which may explain my current situation.... :P)
- Chauferred me everywhere
- Introducing me to many of my current interests, including photography, hockey, etc.

Come to think of it though, the pros outweight the cons. So... I suppose this blog is a reminder for myself to remember the blessings & good times more than the bickering... besides, w/ him, he forgets things like these easily. :) Yay for dad.

posted by Holz @ 9:21 AM |

Since I haven't been posting regularly, and haven't been keeping up w/ my "currently thankful for" endings w/ my blogs, I shall make up for all the times that I've missed out on expressing my gratitude for experiences/things/moments/people/etc. that God has placed in my life:

- this weekend of catching up. definitely tiring, but i spent it w/ people that mean a lot to me. so here's to kensington market/baldwin/yorkville w/ ms RL, dinner w/ two-thirds of my second family, lunching w/ small group & t3c friends, an afternoon w/ vicky, housewarming w/ my friend kathy from work, and catching up w/ clary :)
- an awesome spiritual mentor who really cares about my walk w/ God
- the realization that right now is not the time for me to focus on anything else aside from my relationship w/ Him, family, maintaining and building new friendships w/ people, career. therefore, I'm learning to be content w/ my current situation - where I'm at in terms of work, being single, settling at t3c, living at home, etc.
- a kitchen aid mixer :)
- friends like RL to remind me of the bubble that i currently live in, and that the world and situations that surround us are not as simple as i'd like to think.
- tea4four + a community to laugh and grow with
- U2. their lyrics are just fabulous.
- an opportunity to learn more about myself - my personality, my gifts/talents, etc. learning about myself is a never-ending process.

if I keep on blogging now, I won't be that thankful seeing that I'd be half asleep at work, so i will go to bed... right.... now. :)

posted by Holz @ 12:25 AM |